Waiting for the Thunder Bolt
Tides of social change constantly bring men and women together and pull them apart. The result: no man is ready to bet everything on Mr. Right or Ms. Right
“Its not boredom. Sometimes you outgrow relationships and people,” some people sniffed in it a hint of commitment phobia. This was one side of a fence on the other side people look for commitment from the opposite sex but find nothing than so much of emotional f*** wittage.
It’s not just a man-woman thing, obviously. These days women are just as wary of commitment as men are- a lot of ladies tend to follow put the word “commitment” with phrases like “jumping in the well”, “tightening the noose”, “taking a plunge” ,and “biting the dust”. Male or female, commitment have one common argument: it takes the fun out of an affair. In reality, they are torn between a craving for intimacy and a fear of it. Its like ‘if we are so in love, why aren’t we happy’.
For some people commitments seems like an end to all the fun in life. But this attitude is not al frivolity- it also stems from skepticism about a partner’s dependability these days and a lack of certainly about where and to really pitch the tent. To commit someone, one should first believe in him / herself. Trusting the other person is secondary. That’s why ma of these love affairs ends in struggle to make it work. To avoid such situations one suggests, “This stress could well be eliminated if you don’t commit in first place.”
Increasing financial and mental independence has made young women today far less ready to commit than they were just a decade or five years ago. “They prefer to try and test the man thoroughly before getting into the mess. It too early to commit to anyone and that career is top priority, “Even if one meets a really interesting person, and some people rather carry with that person without any commitment fixation. Of course, this is possible with like minded people.”
What is rising to the commitment phobia perhaps is the increase in numbers of the divorce cases. Blink and one of your friends is divorced. If that is so what is the meaning of hankering after the wedding ring and the paraphernalia? Especially, when living together is just like marriage without a Baggage.
A commitment phobe also fears humiliation. This fear might take one actually shy away from committing even when he or she wants to. It is certainly not easy to decide when is the right time to say yes with a Y. “Commitment is not some thing you decide on consciously”. If you meet some one and are not sure about him then it is better not to commit. But then again, if you like some one very much now, there is no guarantee that you will like him for the rest of the life. For some men or women the decision to commit depends not on themselves but on the family. “it all depends upon the attitude, cultural upbringing and your peer group,” if that is old fashioned then some people are not adventurous when it comes to deciding a partner.
Giving the changing dynamics of male-female relationship in this fast changing world. The commitment phobe’s best hope of commitment is to be hit by the “thunder bolt” – like the kind of Michael Corleone in The Godfather. Until then, let play in the field.
- Jidnesh aka Kakarott
Tides of social change constantly bring men and women together and pull them apart. The result: no man is ready to bet everything on Mr. Right or Ms. Right
“Its not boredom. Sometimes you outgrow relationships and people,” some people sniffed in it a hint of commitment phobia. This was one side of a fence on the other side people look for commitment from the opposite sex but find nothing than so much of emotional f*** wittage.
It’s not just a man-woman thing, obviously. These days women are just as wary of commitment as men are- a lot of ladies tend to follow put the word “commitment” with phrases like “jumping in the well”, “tightening the noose”, “taking a plunge” ,and “biting the dust”. Male or female, commitment have one common argument: it takes the fun out of an affair. In reality, they are torn between a craving for intimacy and a fear of it. Its like ‘if we are so in love, why aren’t we happy’.
For some people commitments seems like an end to all the fun in life. But this attitude is not al frivolity- it also stems from skepticism about a partner’s dependability these days and a lack of certainly about where and to really pitch the tent. To commit someone, one should first believe in him / herself. Trusting the other person is secondary. That’s why ma of these love affairs ends in struggle to make it work. To avoid such situations one suggests, “This stress could well be eliminated if you don’t commit in first place.”
Increasing financial and mental independence has made young women today far less ready to commit than they were just a decade or five years ago. “They prefer to try and test the man thoroughly before getting into the mess. It too early to commit to anyone and that career is top priority, “Even if one meets a really interesting person, and some people rather carry with that person without any commitment fixation. Of course, this is possible with like minded people.”
What is rising to the commitment phobia perhaps is the increase in numbers of the divorce cases. Blink and one of your friends is divorced. If that is so what is the meaning of hankering after the wedding ring and the paraphernalia? Especially, when living together is just like marriage without a Baggage.
A commitment phobe also fears humiliation. This fear might take one actually shy away from committing even when he or she wants to. It is certainly not easy to decide when is the right time to say yes with a Y. “Commitment is not some thing you decide on consciously”. If you meet some one and are not sure about him then it is better not to commit. But then again, if you like some one very much now, there is no guarantee that you will like him for the rest of the life. For some men or women the decision to commit depends not on themselves but on the family. “it all depends upon the attitude, cultural upbringing and your peer group,” if that is old fashioned then some people are not adventurous when it comes to deciding a partner.
Giving the changing dynamics of male-female relationship in this fast changing world. The commitment phobe’s best hope of commitment is to be hit by the “thunder bolt” – like the kind of Michael Corleone in The Godfather. Until then, let play in the field.
- Jidnesh aka Kakarott
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