Destined to be Betrayed

What’s making me worse.
All the time that I cried, all that waste stuffed inside.
All the times I felt unsecure for you
All the times that I cry my intention falls with pride.
But I waste my time than anyone but on you
And I feel all this again it back again
And I lay here in my bed wishing tomorrow will be ok.
You’re giving up its much that I could take.
I know I had defeats but how could you collect them all in my face.
I don’t want to relive my mistakes I made along the way.
Am holding on rob up from grounds
You tell me that you need me then you go and tear it down.
It’s too late we are done, we are dead.
Do you know who is the loneliest between us is the truth.
Just left is your memory with your laughter.
Your laughter would stop the fire within my heart now.
You left me nothing.
Am trying not to replace your good image to the worst enemy of mine.
You always will be a question mark which will haunt me in my mind.
You’re Destiny, you’re love, you’re life…………yours truly Laura.

By Laura (Miss Devil)
This compostion is from a friend, who recently been betrayed by her love of 2 years. she narrated her words on a mobile chat,which I felt should be noted down. I still don't know what made me do this but I did it and now am sharing it with you.

In a Bliss called Sleep

In a bliss called sleep I rest tonight,

Just dreaming to be always by your side.

Tonight I seek the Peace for you,

So your wish would come tomorrow to be true.

So I close my eyes and I walk to the dream,

My body gets numb, my mind gets clean.

And I wish to see you smile like a child,

See you run through the fields like a deer in the wild.

To my Surprise this dream seems so true,

My heart feels glad as it beats with the time as it go through.

With the wind I see you fly, through the clouds nearby in the sky.

And I follow you along, to the place where we together belong.

My body now feels strong, and my heart sings a song.

This dream seems endless as it goes, on and on.

Love - What I feel is!!!

It's not stupid, but it is something nice,
It makes your laugh and it makes you cry.
It keeps your wondering and asks you why.
It can be called wise and at times naive.
Call it what you may, you know my love for you is true,
This heart can't help but beat, and beat for you.

Secrets

Keeping your secrets to yourself as always,

Making me feel helpless as always.

Why do I suffer with your secrets without knowing them,

why do you make yourself suffer by hiding them.

Tell me please, tell them all,

Before this life gives me my final call.

It hurts when I see you take the burden all alone,

And it makes me think, why i can't be there for you all along.

Distances between us so faraway, makes us suffer,

The journey to reach you is long and tougher.

You never wanted me to lose you then, now and never,

I just want to stay by your side forever and ever.

Judging by my words, you wont beg to differ.

I am for you and you are for me and its true, now that I'm a believer.

Memoirs of Monique Part-3

I’m held to life by thin strings, Slowly they break.

And I sink lower into the death itself fear leaves me, for that is where I belong.

Unreal---
I’m not dead, but I am not sure if I want to live either.
I am not walking but I can see myself walking.
I am not listening, but I still hear the truths that hurt my ears and deep into my mind.
I am not looking but I am seeing things that are tearing my fragile soul apart.
I am no touching, but I can feel the frost bites of this unreal world we live in.
---------------------------------------------------

The alone running in my worthless body is black and burning from poison within called hatred.

Hatred –
Inside hate is rippin and wasting through my soul.
Not long and it will devour me,
Your words did this to me.
Not long, not long now before I murder,
Not long before I break the silence that surrounds me.
This hate is mine, mine alone.
It has nowhere to go, so I’ll keep it till it’s too late.
Till it consumes me entirely.

Memoirs of Monique Part 4

Death Approaches

Staring into his eyes, watching as he dies.
I never meant this to end, I never meant his time to be spend.
Slide my hand under shirt as he lies in the dirt.
Trying to feel something still real.
Searching for some heat, waiting for his heart to beat.
Take my hand from his chest, Now its time for him to rest.
I guess he’s dead, that’s what all they said.
Still trying to remember what all went through my head.
Feeling him cold as he lays in death’s hold.
See my grin, was it such a sin?
Murder in my mind, I was only being kind.

--------------------------------------------

Now that He's gone!!!!!!!!!!

Grieving over him leaving, now he’s gone.
What did I do wrong?
I know now I’m left alone to fight on my own.
Unable to survive, unable to keep my heart alive.
I walk into the room, feeling the gloom,
As I lay awake my spirits starts to break.

Memoirs of Monique Part-5

Last Words

where does my heart belong?

Where did it all go wrong?

My soul is now broken,

Without anywords being spoken.

My mind is driving me insane,

I can't handle the pain.

Let it stop, before it lets me drop.

Drop into death, thats all i have to say with my last breath.

------------------------------------------

My heart is a piece of broken glass. Each time it beats the glass cuts. Deeper and deeper. I’m bleeding to live on.

Dying inside-

All I feel is ice running through my empty nearly lifeless body.
Slowly freezing my veins, killing me from inside.
More and more, day by day.

------------------------------------------

Now it’s goodbye, this is the End.
My time is now fully spent.
I am going to my grave,
That is my final save.
By the time you have this read, I’ll be already dead.

Memoirs of Monique Part- 2

Don’t look down into the eyes of the world beneath you..
Don’t look down you will fall down, you’ll be the sacrifice.
If I can’t feel I am not alive, then am not real.
--------------------------------------------------------

Demons from the past haunt my mind, Darkness surrounds me.

I feel into emptiness, hollowness engulfs me as the cold blade of steel touches my wrist.

Shallow is my heart, deep is my mind. Nothing am I born to be. Death approaches.

My arms look like a road map.Hold me please let me cry. But don’t look at my arms..

------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes are cold,
My soul has been sold,
Bought by the devil in the ground.
Who left me in my mind unsound?
Straight from the hell, deeper than the deepest well.

----------------------------------------------------------

Now is the time, hand me what is mine.
It has come to an end; I feel my time is rent.
I’ll come back, unless I crack.
I feel so crazy, as my eyes go hazy

-----------------------------------------------------

Empty and hollow, filled with sorrow.
It might be long, I know he did wrong.
He will be missed as I’ll never forget the way we kissed.

---------------------------------------------------------

Spilling my tears, as I write down my fears.
Slowly I cry until my eyes go dry.
I miss him so, where did he go?

We close our eyes

We close our eyes,
We shut them up,
Conscience bothered for inner peace,
Bothered for peace,.
What of,
May be more noble, humble, cruel, slumber, trampled under the oceans feet?

We gather,
Raise money together,
With that we chant off Bhagavat Gita,
But,
But speak of to slowen,
The misery of the miserable,
Why our pockets get sewn?

With same question,
Quisling my Grey’s,
I rampaged for a verdict,
Answer I got,
From mother, her I called,
She flowed like that in
Place of He Himself the Lord.

She said I heard,
She said I listened,
She said I understood,
She said, I DENIED.

I denied the personified Lord,
Personified as her,
Whom mother I called.

Because,
She conversed,
That He wants them to suffer,
He has made them,
He will perish them as their lover,
For they are what their destiny is or was,
Human, dust or cosmos.

But,
“Another but!” she thought,
I proceeded.

Aren’t WE destined enough?
Enough by He Himself,
He who wants them to suffer,
Out of utter passion,
Like that of a lover.

Hasn’t He harvested enough?
Enough love to share,
Enough grief to bear,
Enough money to care.

So Maa,
Why can’t we gather,
Raise love and money together?
And ignite the fire,
That would burn all pain,
And for things,
All dreaded and dire.

For this the personified took a step back.

May be I had argued,
With He Himself.

Now,
I will close my eyes,
Won’t shut them up,
Just pull them down,
In rejoice of the inner peace,
That I have won,
After I fought with the Lord,
At ease.

:S.S.

The dry dance

The dead looked alive,
As they danced round and round,
In the ball room of nature,
That was the ground.

The clouds were the spectators,
The trees brushed the music,
And the wind blew the song,
And they danced along,
As the song was made for them,
And they were, for the song.

In plethora,
In sync,
The titian clad performers,
A splendid serendipity,
The dance; seemed would last till eternity,

But suddenly Hey!
Who ceased the elaborate performance?
As I looked around for an answer,
I found,
But the depths of silence.

Though the spectators were gone and the music had ceased,
Rustling in halcyon,
The impeccable performers lay there serene,
To perform another brilliant dance piece,
Of the dry leaves.

: S.S.

Guess

Guess!

She is full of radiant beauty,
With eyes that tacitly epitomizes her love for the blossomed one,
Her voice overflowing with ecstasy,
And the lullabies compel to levitate even the eldest one.

Tell me who is she?
Her hands and their gently touch,
Emancipates even the wildest imagination,
Her mind from which we cannot conceal anything,
As it catches our every overhead transmission.

Answer, who is she?
Her womb the vault of origin,
Her heart filled with everlasting care and compassion,
Her love the same for all and equal in the sum.

There is no artist more versatile than her,
And no mason comparable,
She is there when you are hurt,
She is there when you are absolutely dither,
She is there to correct you,
And she is the most happening teacher.

At last you guessed it right!

She is unique and like none other,
She is the charming of all... Mother

-

S. S.

Bringing your thoughts to life

Bringing your thoughts to life,
Nurturing them with plans,
Respecting them by time,
And moulding them with the clay of foresight.

Dream materialized to reality,
Décor, specks of life,
Ornate with flora of senses,
Rejuvenated with heart beats to eternity.

Bringing back the dead from the ashes,
Greening the yellow wilting of leaves,
Soaking the mud to smell divinity,
Smouldering the world with ferocious,

Giving it all for the world to cherish,
Filling up the insatiable smiles,
Levitating in the depths of silence,
Rupturing of love &
Ahead are many feelings to perish।

S. S.

वो केहती नही कुछ जो दिल मैं है

सिसकियों मैं मुस्कुराते , आँख की कोनो मैं झिलमिलाते।
ये संकुचित शब्द मेरे, यथार्त के सच को ना पाते।
दिल ही दिल मैं तिलमिलाते, स्वप्न को संज्ञा बनाते।
ये भूतपूर्व दर्द मेरे, आज भी भुलाये ना जाते।

इतना दर्द ना छुपाओ उस दिल मैं की वो सेहेम जाऐ, बतादो उसे इसके पेहले की यह साँस थम जाऐ।

दिल की गलती है अब वही सयाय दिखाए,

टाले ना टले बात जो उसमे भी वो कुछ सोच न ,
सिर्फ़ कहने से सुकून नही मन है इन्हे दफनाया जाए।

कुछ अनकही सी है मैं भी, मैं चुप रहू वो समझ पाए।
क्यूंकि लब भी सिहर उठते है, इतना की लव्ज़ दोहरा ना पाए।

--

एस.एस.

जाने क्या चाहे मन बावरा, अखियन मेरे सावन चला

मेरे मन में एक बड़ासा तूफान है।
तनहा है मन ना जाने कब से,
जाने क्यो रूठा बैठा रेहता है सबसे।
बस सुनता रेहता है आती जाती हवा मैं सुरों को,
और मुस्कुराता है अपने आप पर की ये मैं कहा आगया। जिंदगी से चाहता है कुछ पर कभी कहता नही।
डरता है उस ना से जो जिंदगी ने अब तक की नही.
तरसता है उस हाँ को जो जिंदगी ने अब तक दी नही।
अजीब से कशमकश है की वो क्या करे,
किसीको क्या फरक पड़ेगा की मेरा ये मन जिये या मरे।
--
जिदनेश

Memoirs of Monique - Something expressed from 16 year Old Girl. Part 1

Memoirs of Monique is a short series of Poems that i have received over the internet from a girl called Monique aged 16. Who claims to live a dreadful life as same as hell. She is cute little girl I met over internet on some chat. Who happened to open up her self and tell me her sad story along with these poems. I am publishing this Blog as her virtually close friend who wants to share her compositions to the world.

Here is the latest I received from her.
Bleeding Heart, how to start?
Looking around this place, couldn't keep the pace.
Shivering with fear, time drawn near.
Take the blade, start slowely to fade.
Slipping from this earth, cut what I was worth.
Now leave behind, everything that was unkind.
Too freezing to hold, my body turns cold.
Not here to stay, trying to slip away.

Soon some more compositions would be published out here. please let me know your comments.

In my quilt, closed my eyes and simply imagining.

I am walking, hands in my pocket, tossing the pebbles with my foot.
Taking my time for, my stride pushed as if there’s no existence of the phenomenon called time.
Rugged path with scrapped stretches of greens and winds rampaging over them.
Place where I as a child would have loved to play. Feels like walking for miles.
I can, I know, without dismay of destination and delusion of the start.Simply walk like the sun beams on rippled water.
All disarray when you have this feeling contended, satiated, when nothing about anything for anything by anything it’s just you.
It is then, that even the sun in month of May is not harsh and the December nights are cozy in your portico.
I am whole while walking through this virtual scenery, I remember nothing and no one, as if the last one left by myself.
And it’s all good and I am all good in this stagnation of thoughts and lapse of time.

By S.S. (My friend Little Miss)

Sitting beside her in the oblivious Silence:

We sat by the window face to face, with a mug of hot chocolate in my hand and coffee in her. It’s almost midnight now and she is looking at the sky. I just love looking at her sitting in the window. There are no words exchanged between us, just a pure golden silence in the room. Breeze of wind making hair brush her cheeks gently as she gazes at the sky. There is some light in the room from the street lamps, some scarce traffic down the road. She likes the ambience this way, that’s when she finds the sky splendid at nights. She sees the outlines of the mountains at the horizon which look like giants sleeping and glittering lights at the bottom of the mountain. Suddenly she looks at me and smiles a bit. Our eyes meet for a while and she turns her face away back at the dark yet shimmering sky again. I just rest back again continue to linger at her face. All I see is a certain peace and an unknown mystery in her expression on that face. My hot chocolate has almost finished and I sit there holding the mug in my hand. I then realize that her coffee is finished too. She looks at me as I get up to take her cup away. I signal her is she needs more, she nods back in denial with a smile as if saying thank you. I settle back to my place keeping an eye contact with her.
Then she speaks up to apologize for keeping me speechless for all this while. I ask her why she turned this wonderful moment to this by apologizing. She just laughs at me as I smile back at her. She gets up and walks towards the kitchen and disappears behind the door. In few moments she appears back walking towards me with something in her hand. It choco flakes her favorite in bowl, she places it in the space between us as we both start to munch on them. I hear a horn from a truck passing by, the ceiling fan moving at full speed. And a sigh from her, before asking me are we suppose to talk. I chuckle back at her and another chuckle back from her as a response. Then she continues to smile as we finish the flakes ready again to be drawn back in to the oblivious silence.

by Jidnesh J. and S.S.

When you on your own, and the nights are yours alone

Would you hate me if I leave this world without saying a Good bye? Just felt like asking what would you think. Will it make a difference in anyone’s life, if I live or die? Why does it feel as useless and a bit helpless? Am of no use or help in this world. I am a philosopher who can say things which are very hard to follow. I don’t know but I am getting this feeling for past 1 month. Nothing is there for one to give a reason to live a life like am alive. Seems like a life of a living dead. I loved a girl once and I left her too, cuz I was making her life miserable. And I could not stand anymore to see her suffering because of me. The distance between us was way beyond the continents and within me I always knew that we are not destined to be together. Don’t want anyone to love anymore, but just looking for a friend to my side, with whom I can talk.

I know I will be alone all my life now, and the winds of change won’t let you stay. Like a spore from a flower you will flow away to be nice place to grow up and flourish to rejuvenate into a beautiful something very hard to put into words, something so overwhelming that it really not possible for person like me to describe.

My leaves are shedding, my branches are aging, and no flower bloomed on me for quite a long time. I feel dry and brittle within me and a fear to broke down and shatter during the next storm to come. I feel the rains are angry with me, they deny every drop they got to spare. All I can do is only staring like a stranger looking into the thin air

A Silly Poetry - Don't know for whom!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s really a silly one; I don’t think you should read,
My part is to keep you happy and that’s what I did.
You need to be cheerful and you need to be happy,
Leave your worries to me and that will make me happy.
My joys are yours and your sorrows are mine,
when we are together everything is fine.
You may think I am crazy but this all is true,
Leave your worries to me and I’ll be always with you.
Together forever we will always make it through.

*I wish for you………….*

I wish you could rest in my arms, and I brush my hands through your hair to put you to sleep.
And give a gentle kiss on your forehead, just to see you smile while deep in the sleep.
To see you watching a pleasant dream, before I leave.
A dream where you are running free through the grasslands towards the mountain near the river of your dreams.
Smiling, laughing, with you hair flying along the breeze.
Racing up, slowing down, getting breathless yet excited.
A place in the paradise of your own, a utopia you call your home.
Where everything is twice as nice, like mixture of sugar with the spice.
Where your every wish is approved, no matter it's your fantasy it will be true.
Where there is joy but no sorrow, after every day a new tomorrow.
Where time will go slowly, you will be never be lonely.
That's my wish for you….and for you only.